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I Get Mail 09 Dec 2007

Posted by Jessa in Uncategorized.

Even though I’m a D-list blogger who has single-digit numbers of readers, I still manage to get crazy hate mail from creationists. Being a science geek, I thought I’d have a little fun and devise some sort of scale to rate the craziness. I now present the Creationist Rant Absurdity Phenomenon Index, or the CRAP Index for short:

UPDATE: More discussion of this equation may be found at Pharyngula.

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1. Nyarlathotep - 09 Dec 2007

I am duly impressed.

2. Gaurav - 09 Dec 2007

Well finally we have some sort of uniform scale in defining CRAP. 🙂

3. cay - 09 Dec 2007

You just gained a reader!

4. mattdabbs - 09 Dec 2007

Comment number 2 would then be calculated at

Number of words in all caps = 1 (CRAP)
Number of misspelled words = 1 (Well)
Number of superfluous quotes = 0
Number of exclamations points = 0
Number of factually incorrect statements = 1 (This is not really a uniform scale)
Number of terms = 0
Number of insults = 1
Number of condemnations = 0

1+10(1+0+0)+10^(1+0+1) + 0(1.0X10^6)=111 by my calculation. I am sure that doesn’t hold a candle to most of the “crap” you analyze right? Oh my a superfluous quotation! Followed by an exclamation. This could get fun… 😦

5. blueollie - 09 Dec 2007


1) mks units?

2) have you taken “delusion inflation” into account? 🙂

Seriously, good job. You’ve gotten some publicity at Shalin’s blog.

6. malackey - 09 Dec 2007

You’ve converted me, and gained another reader. Does this push into the coveted double-digits?

7. Jessa - 09 Dec 2007

blueollie: I’ve gotten lots of helpful suggestions at Pharyngula, I’ll add yours to the list… 😉

cay and malackey: Thanks! I’m getting there. I really do this because I need a place to vent (I live in the Bible Belt and don’t have many sympathetic ears around), but it’s nice to hear that some people find what I say to be interesting.

8. fitnessfortheoccasion - 09 Dec 2007

Hilarious. I’ll have to apply this to some of my comments. Where H is instead “number of statements that the poster hates America/Freedom”.

9. mopenshaw - 09 Dec 2007

Very Good; with minor modifications, it could be used in a lot of places. Replace the H term (condemnation) with suggestions:
– advocating anatomically impossible acts
– unmarried parentage
– canine heritage
– or improper maternal relationships.

Then replace the specific name-calling of ‘Darwinism’, etc. to something more topic-oriented.

With those modifications, the equation is pretty applicable in terms of responses from the more extreme liberal elements of the net.

10. Reed Braden - 09 Dec 2007

Welcome to my RSS feed! This is bloody brilliant!

11. Thunk Different. - 09 Dec 2007

Where did you get these numbers? Brilliant, spot on, good show!


12. Gutsnikka - 10 Dec 2007

I think the third term is too [10(F+…) is too large. It’s going to render the rest (especially the first two) irrelevant. I would think these terms would be more appropriate in defining a rant, as they are typical of rants in any context, whereas the third term could simply represent a lack of scientific facts. The last term could still be significant, depending on the value of (F+…). You might want to just change this to 100*(F+…), and maybe add H or some multiple of H into the quotes. Otherwise a single instance will render the first two terms completely irrelevant, and would even overshadow multiple factually incorrect statements. You effectively have three separate formulae here, dependent on the value of (F+…) and whether H > 0.

13. LiberalPercy - 10 Dec 2007

Just a curious question – is Jessa your real name, or a pseudonym? I named my daughter Jessa (rather than Jessica or Jessie), but have never seen it used by anyone else.

You can reply privately to my email if you prefer.

PS – great equation. You need an additional factor for physical, crayon-written, hand-delivered mail.

14. P - 10 Dec 2007

So I saw this on Pharyngula and realised I know you from A Web 2.0 Location Dedicated To Crafts. Win! This is hilarious.

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