The American Dream, According To Republicans

I’m having a hard time understanding exactly how Rep. Michele Bachmann thinks this is good news:

Today, Rep. Eric Cantor (VA), the chief deputy Republican whip in the House, unveiled his proposal to stimulate the economy. His legislation — the so-called Middle Class Job Protection Act — does nothing for the middle class. Instead, it reduces the corporate tax rate by 25 percent.

At a press conference today unveiling the stimulus proposal, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) justified the conservative plan to give tax breaks to corporations — instead of working Americans — by arguing that people actually like working long hours:

I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs.

Let me break this to you gently, Ms. Bachmann. People don’t work longer hours or have two jobs because they think 80-hour work weeks are peachy keen neato. They do it so their family can have food, clothing, and shelter.

The fact that people are working more is a bad sign, not a good one. For all you guys tout “family values”, you should be concerned that people have to work so hard that they barely have time to actually spend with their families.

More Insanity

Idaho man sees “mark of the beast,” cuts off and microwaves hand

HAYDEN, Idaho — A man who believed he bore the “mark of the beast” amputated one of his hands, put it in a microwave and summoned authorities, Kootenai County sheriff’s deputies say.

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when deputies arrived at his home in this north Idaho town Saturday afternoon, and neither he nor the severed hand bore any noticeable tattoo or other mark, sheriff’s Capt. Ben Wolfinger.

The man, whose name was withheld, was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center in Coeur d’Alene, where he and the hand were taken by ambulance. Hospital spokeswoman Lisa Johnson would not say whether an attempt was made to reattach the hand, citing patient confidentiality restrictions.

“He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn’t bleed to death,” Wolfinger said. ” That kind of mental illness is just sad.”

The New Testament Book of Revelation contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying, according to the New International Version of the Bible, “If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God’s fury.”

Two words: batshit insane.

Tom Cruise Is Insane. Film At 11.

Actually, film right now. Supposedly a Scientology promotional video, it’s nine minutes of lunatic raving. A snippet:

When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help. We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind…. We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures. Now is the time. Being a Scientologist. People are turning to you. If you are a Scientologist, you see things the way they are, in all their glory, in all their complexity… It’s rough and tumble. It’s wild and woolly. It’s a blast. It really is. It is fun. Because damn it, there is nothing better than going out there and fighting the fight, and suddenly you see — boom! — things are better. I want to know that I’ve done everything I can do, every day… I do what I can. And I do it the way I do everything

See if you can watch the entire video without your head exploding.

Happy National Nothing Day!

January 16 is National Nothing Day. It was created by Harold Pullman Coffin and was first celebrated in 1973. The purpose of the day is “to provide Americans with one national day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring anything.”

So remember to take some time to kick back, relax, and not-celebrate.

What The Huck?

Mike Huckabee is at it again. During a rally in Michigan, he dropped this chestnut:

”Some of my opponents do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards.”

Wow.

This deranged statement was in reference to his call for constitutional amendments to affirm human life (aka outlaw abortion) and to define marriage as being between one man and one woman.

I would love to have a few minutes to speak with Huckabee, but since that’s never going to happen, I’ll put what I want to say to him here.

You should be aware, Mr. Huckabee, that the King James version of the bible (which is probably your preferred translation) had been around for nearly two centuries before the Constitution was written. I’m sure that most (if not all) of the founding fathers, being learned men, had read it. Abortion and homosexuality are not new phenomena, either. They’ve been around since the dawn of humanity. The founding fathers were probably aware of them as well.

Don’t you think that if the men who wrote the Constitution, who knew “God’s standards” and were aware of the issues to which you refer, wanted the document to be more in line with the bible, they would have written it that way? Don’t you think it’s a bit telling that they didn’t?

And don’t you think it’s a bit presumptuous to imply that you are a better judge of what should be in the Constitution than the founding fathers? Delusions of grandeur much?